Trying to Do It All (and Nothing at All) in the “Ber” Months

October 1st, 2025

The moment the “ber” months roll in, life seems to speed up—suddenly the lists get longer, the calendar fills faster, and the to-dos multiply overnight. Don't get me wrong, I get giddy with excitement for all the fun to come, but it's just a lot. By October, the weight really starts to pile on at least for me- birthday parties to plan, Halloween costumes to pull together, school photos and permission slips to remember, the online orders that never seem to end, family events to coordinate, and the first hints of holiday planning creeping in. All of it stacks up while we’re still trying to get enough sleep and carve out even a little space to take care of ourselves.

I actually like being busy. There’s something satisfying about crossing things off the list, feeling productive and staying on top of everything. But even if I find myself in that rhythm more often than not, I’ve had to learn it’s okay to pause and slow down, too. Busy doesn’t have to mean burned out. It’s okay to loosen routines, let some things wait, and give myself permission to rest when I need it.

That balance—between productivity and pause—is what helps me make it through the “ber” months. I’ve been resting more, reminding myself that sleep is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. I’ve shifted some routines—like working out in the afternoons rather than forcing myself up at 5:30am. I much prefer to get my workout over with before my day even begins, but right now, I'm changing it up. And it has been working well for me. I’m also loving my time to relax after a busy day at work with a cup of coffee and a book while the girls do their homework. The dishes can wait, and so can the Amazon shopping list. Everything will get done. It always does. And come January, the pace slows, the calendar clears, and there’s space to breathe again. That reminder keeps me grounded: this season is full of fun and chaos that I do love, but it’s just a season and it will pass.

If you're feeling like I am this time of year with looming tasks or anticipation of what's to come, ask yourself....

• What can you let go of right now—even just temporarily—that frees up space and energy? Putting down the phone more often really keeps your head clear, focused and mindful on what is important around you. It is too easy to get distracted and influenced by what everyone else is doing, buying, planning or crafting. You have enough on your plate. Don't add more.

  
  

• Where can you trade perfection for presence? Maybe the halloween cookies aren’t homemade this year, or you trade that spooky hayride for some self-care or quality time with your family at home, and that’s okay. You are your own biggest critic, no one else really cares how you spend your time.

  
  

• What mindful moments can you find in the chaos?  Can you spend a few minutes outside and just appreciate the changing seasons, smell the fresh air, and ground yourself with the present?

  
  

• How can you build in rest on purpose, instead of waiting for exhaustion to force it?

What would that look like for you? The pressure to juggle birthdays, holidays, school events, and family expectations while keeping yourself together is real. But so is your need for space. Sometimes the bravest, healthiest thing you can do is relax. Step back. Breathe. Offer yourself the same compassion you so freely give to everyone else.

So if you’re caught between trying to do it all and wishing you could do nothing at all, know you’re not alone. The load is heavy—but you’re allowed to set some of it down.

And when the overwhelm creeps back in, remind yourself of this simple truth:

Everything will get done. It always does.

Carly Murillo, LCSW Resilient Bloom Therapy