Motherhood, Grief, and Loss: How Sharing Stories Helps Children Heal

August 21st, 2025

I lost my brother at the tender age of 12, and honestly, I am surprised and how deeply this loss continues to touch my life, the lives of my children and my role as a mother in ways I never could have imagined. My girls never had the chance to meet my brother, yet as they’ve gotten older, his absence has found its way into our lives at random moments. My eldest daughter has frequent dreams of him and other lost loved ones that spark conversation about what they were like. The anniversary of my brother’s death (or what we started to call his "Angel Wing Day") and his birthday are also annual occasions where we talk about his life, share stories and photos. My girls’ innocent wonderings; “What do you think he’d be like now?” or “Do you think he’d have kids if he were still alive?”- still surprise me and leave me stuck on how to respond.

I continue to realize then that loss doesn’t only live in our memories; it becomes part of the stories we pass down, woven into both motherhood and the way our children come to understand family, love, and grief.

As mothers, we often push forward because kids need to get to bed or get on with their day, even if we have to pause to feel the grief and reflect on the loss. It doesn’t stay neatly contained in one past chapter of our lives. Grief ripples through motherhood, shaping the way we raise kids, and even how future generations understand love, resilience, and connection.

The Impact of Loss Across Generations

Loss doesn’t just affect us in the present—it shapes the future of our families. The way we process grief influences how our children learn to navigate their own struggles. If we hide our feelings, our kids may believe emotions should be buried. If we share stories, memories, and moments of reflection, they learn that grief is a part of love—that remembering is a way of keeping connections alive. For this, I am happy, grateful and honored to answer any new or repeated questions, thoughts or wonderings they have of lost loved ones that they have (or haven’t) met. I know I am doing important work by paving the way for them to experience loss as an inevitable part of life. 

In this way, grief becomes more than sorrow. It becomes a legacy of resilience, teaching children that even when someone is gone, their love remains in the stories we tell, the traditions we keep and the love we nurture.

A card from my daughter to the uncle she loves although has never met.

Honoring Loved Ones Through Story

One of the most healing practices for both mothers and children is to share memories of those we’ve lost. Looking through old albums, snuggling in their hand knitted blanket or cooking a favorite recipe that’s been passed down keeps their presence alive. Whenever we are in the car and I hear Metallica or Smashing Pumpkins on the radio, I always share with the girls that it was their uncle’s favorite music. These moments are not just soul soothing for us—they give our kids a sense of belonging, grounding them in the history of the family they are part of.

Grief and loss in motherhood remind us that love extends beyond a lifetime. While the pain of losing someone never fully disappears, we can transform it into a bridge between generations. By speaking their name, sharing their story, and weaving their memory into our children’s lives, we honor them—and teach our kids that love and connection never end.

✨ If you or someone you know is struggling with grief and loss while raising kids, you don’t have to walk through it alone. Virtual therapy offers a supportive space to process emotions, honor loved ones, and find healing while balancing the daily demands of motherhood.