When Summer Isn’t a Break: 5 Ways to Cope When the Kids Are Home and Your Heart Feels Heavy

Carly Murillo
22 hours ago
3 min read

July 23, 2025

Oh, summer. The season we long for when the school year feels endless—the promise of sunny days, a slower schedule, maybe even a chance to catch up on hobbies, home projects, or sleep. Whether you're working full-time, part-time, or home with the kids all day, summer should feel like a break. But what if it doesn’t?

For many moms, especially those carrying grief, trauma, or recent loss—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, stability, health, or even just a former version of life—summer can actually feel heavier. The constant presence of children, the lack of routine, and the emotional weight you’re holding can make it hard to catch your breath, let alone practice self-care.

How are you supposed to care for others when it’s hard to even get yourself out of bed?

If that sounds familiar, this post is for you. By the end, I hope you feel more grounded and more accepting of where you are—right now—in these fleeting summer days with kids, even while carrying your own emotional load.

1. Let Yourself Feel

It’s okay if this summer doesn’t feel light. It’s okay if you’re not soaking up every moment. Give yourself permission to feel the weight of your experience without judgment. Suppressing your feelings doesn’t make you stronger—it often makes things harder. Your feelings are valid, even when they’re inconvenient. Create space to grieve, cry, vent, or simply name what’s hard. Some days, the best self-care might just be not pretending everything is fine.

2. Find a Mindful Moment (without taking extra time from your day)

Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean long meditation sessions. Tie it to something you already do—like getting your morning coffee or brushing your teeth. Place a sticky note by the coffee maker that says, “Pause. Breathe. I’m okay.” Even 10 seconds of deep breathing when the kids are driving you crazy can help settle your nervous system and shift the next part of your day.

3. Lower the Bar—Let Go of Expectations

You don’t need to plan the perfect summer. It’s okay to say “no" to picking up a mess that's right in front of you, to cancel plans, or to not keep up with all of the daily demands that you normally would. Your capacity may look different right now—and that’s not just okay, it’s wise to honor it. Some days, keeping everyone fed and safe is enough. You are enough, even on your lowest-energy days.

4. Find Hope—Even in Small Glimpses

When you’re deep in grief or stress, looking forward can feel impossible. But even the smallest spark of hope—a fall activity you’re looking forward to, a future goal, or a change in season—can help orient your brain toward meaning and purpose. Write down one thing you’re looking forward to next month. Keep it simple. Let it anchor you.

5. Find Your People

Isolation can deepen sadness. Even if it feels easier to retreat, challenge yourself to reach out—especially on the hard days. Phone a friend while putting away the dishes instead of thinking about something that is making you feel sad. Let yourself feel your feelings alone—but don’t carry them only alone. Talking it out can ease the weight, even if nothing gets “fixed.”

You’re Not Alone in This

Summer might not feel like a break right now—and that’s okay. You're still showing up. You're still loving. You're still trying. And that counts. Let yourself be real, not perfect. Let the laundry wait. Let the mess linger. And let your heart soften toward the you that’s simply surviving a hard season while mothering through big feelings.

You're doing more than enough.